Divided Attention
"Attention", or "awareness" is closely linked to our sense of "self" and "presence." When we are all "here" in a state of safety, there is a peace. We are integrated. As our attention is divided, it is as if a knife is splitting us into a variety of different pieces. Each of these pieces of ourselves begin transmitting information back to our one body, which can only be in one place at one time. Over the past 100 years, attention has been continually divided at an exponential rate. The focus of this assessment is not on "right and wrong" but simply the forces at work in change. Using a stereotypical analogy:A mother 100 years ago had her attention on:- Health of her self and child
- Preparing meals and cleaning
- Satisfying her husband sexually
- Going to church
- Fitting into society
The complexity of each of these categories has expanded:- Health of her self and child
The subject of health is now so vast, any individual could devote their entire life to learning and still not know. And there is less "ability" to lean on god, when there is so much information. The prayer "god's will" (which is relatively free of stress and responsibility) does not mean as much to the stereotypical woman today, when she may be confronted in a week or a year with empirical evidence which shows that her choice or ignorance, not god, was responsible for the health or life of her child. But even with awareness of "ideal practice," many such practices come with costs - often big costs financially. And that is another source of stress. For now that there are some women role models making millions, she cannot put the weight of "being unable to afford" solely on either god or her husband. "Why is not she able to be one of those super women able to make millions and raise a family? But even if there is money. Even if there is initial education on things such as the importance of good water, there is still the matter of the "right" filter - and changing it. And having it installed. And learning to use a computer to do research. And this is just to get the water covered. And there will be more research to read next year. Were the plastics used in the filter safe? How do traces in the plastic interact with green algae tablets? There are just so many thousands of things we are doing that have never been done before, that understanding their isolated impact is hard enough, without having to track the ecological impact of all of them functioning together within a body which 100 years ago was not exposed to any of it. Keep in mind that this complexity around water has been exponentially added by choices in birth control, birth delivery, diet, supplements and a host of drugs and surgeries for health and cosmetic motives. And there is no long lasting or complete consensus: One group will judge you for giving your daughter a nose job which was not even possible 100 years ago. Another will judge you for not doing so. In other words, not only is the job description more than 1000 times the complexity of 100 years ago, the definition of success is less tangible. You are given 1000 times the responsibility, but left to define and defend your own definition of success, with no guarantee of outside validation for your decisions. - Preparing meals and cleaning
While this has gotten easier in some ways, it is harder in others. You cannot walk to the market (I'm speaking in broad generalities) or step outside to the vegetable garden. You must know how to drive (women 100 years ago did not need to know how to drive), you must "dress right" even for shopping, and decide amongst literally hundreds of products and be responsible for the diet. You have the choice of Organic or chemically treated. Fresh or frozen. Microwave or traditional. Aluminum pans or glass. And your job description is not simply to clean and cook. You have a hundred other things on your list... most of which you feel inadequate for not doing.When it comes to cleaning, children rule the house in most cases today, or their are judgments and legal issues related to "disciplining" a child. By and large there is much less time to clean, and perhaps no cooperation from the child. And there are of course hundreds of cleaning products to choose from, which in turn produce chemicals and scents which may contribute to fatigue or headaches. Which in turn leads to more health issues.- Satisfying her husband sexually
It is hard to fail when your picture of "success" is doing what you are told sexually and not enjoying it. The standards are much higher. First of all you are not supposed to "do what you are told." You are supposed to collaborate and participate. And you are supposed to enjoy it. If you are not enjoying it, then there is something "wrong" with somebody, and that something needs to be "fixed" or you are not being the role of a self respecting woman you should be. You are supposed to read books, do therapy (both categories leading to many choices you never had to make before) and fix this. Or you are forced to lie: a further division of attention between reality and appearance: "Oh yes, everything is fine." Every week you see magazine covers (which you never had to read as you got your food 100 years ago) telling you to do this or that which makes sex "easy." The message: "If your sex life is not working, it's your fault because you could have read about it in our mag and gotten it right. And if you read it and still did not get it right, then you are even worse!" And then if you like being "submissive" sexually you are betraying your feminine equality etc. But what if that is what actually gives you turned on and the same feminine movement says you are supposed to enjoy sex? These problems did not trouble you 100 years ago!- Going to church
There are more churches to choose from today. Which requires either careful thought, but also divides one mentally: "If all these churches are saying "they are the one," most of them must be lying! So then which do I choose? And why should I go anyway? At least before I could say "god willing." But now that I am on the hook for everything anyway, why should I pray to god? And is there time to do so anyway? But now I have a less meaningful life? What am I going to do about that? As I look at the growing field of "self improvement" to replace religion, I realize there is an endless hill to climb in order to be good enough. And then there is the matter of cooperation: Right when I figure out the way to communicate my son or husband does not agree! So what am I supposed to do about that? Read another god damned book about how to get people to do what I want through enlightened self interest? - Fitting into society
One of the benefits of a cast society is that one is not expected to be or behave differently than one does. One is born into a poor household, works hard, and stays poor. You have great role models for this pattern. You don't feel angry at your parents for being poor - they are supposed to be poor. It is your lot in life. Now with models for "unlimited potential" even poor people are "supposed" to be rich. If they are not, they are either "victims" or did not work hard enough? And why not? There is less peace. At the same time when societal values dictate that everyone fit a set model of success: be rich, happy, enjoy their sex life, be healthy, well educated, cool and married with successful kids (or be judged as undesirable, a failure or a victim), there are a growing number of "societies" to belong to. Which "alternative" crowd do you hang with? Or are your "stale and traditional?" And if so, are you traditional enough? Are you traditional but still "cool." Who the hell is keeping track of what the "correct" definitions are? And are you "it?" And while marriages are breaking up right and left, are you a failure because you were divorced? And what about ruining your kids life with the divorce? You could have "tried harder." You could have done family therapy (which did not even exist 100 years ago). You could have...Every time you think that thought: "I could have..." your attention is divided and adds to stress. (Now you have one more thing to do wrong... because of course it is "bad to be stressful.)Everything on this page so far has been strictly limited to the increase in "job description" for a hypothetical mother in just 100 years and how that increases a division of attention into thousands of questions and measurements which were not even imaginable in the past. But there is more...In the past 100 years a mother now has added to her original job description:- Getting a job
- Managing money
- Driving and owning a car
- Traveling by plane
- Curing any family addictions
- Owning a cell phone
- Owning a computer
It is now expected that mother's work. But not just work: find a creative job - better yet be the boss and show that they are equal to men - and at the same time incorporate all the self help literature and be liberated parents (enslaved to their kids, of course). But getting a "Job" is not so simple either. There are subcategories of subcategories. School has gotten longer and more expensive. Few apprenticeships exist. And the technology is always changing, as is the marketplace. You must own a computer and cell phone. Just learning how to operate those can add hours every month of divided attention. And the talking - and endless writing. Jobs require more. In each of these categories, there is an explosion of attention requirements which never existed before. Managing money is not as simple as hiding a stash under a mattress. There are credit cards, identity theft, ATM pins to remember, receipts to file, and all kinds of taxes to pay - and time lines for paying them - and special notations to make. All of this has happened in the last 100 years. It is an exponential and incredible explosion of divided attention which has never been seen on the planet. While there is no simple answer to any of this, empathy and understanding for the explosion of new immune deficiency viruses based on stress is to be expected.
